Are you stuck in the expectation gap?

If you constantly feel like you’re fighting yourself and the things that happen to you, you may be living in what I call the expectation gap.  The expectation gap is the distance between what you think should be happening vs. what is actually happening.  The bigger that gap is, the more frustrated, angry, and reactive you will become in your life.

If you want to move through life with more ease and less resistance, you have to learn how to release the pressure of the gap.  Otherwise your body is going to stay in a constant state of fight or flight FIGHTING to close the gap.  You can't close the gap by forcing the world outside of you to change.  This is fighting reality in itself.  Instead, you have to do the inner work to change your relationship with the outside.  The best part about this is that only then, will your external world start to shift.

Here’s how you can release the gap & the questions that can support you to release it.

1. Learn to process + release emotions
   1. What am I holding onto that doesn’t serve me?
   2. What supports me in letting go of this?

2. Let go of past experiences or pressure
   1. What past experiences am I protecting myself from?
   2. What story am I telling myself based on the past?
   3. In what ways am I trying to overcompensate to make up for the past?

3. Understand societal impacts
   1. What are the things I want because society says I need them in order to prove my worthiness (ex: relationship, job, $$, etc, body)
   2. What’s the reason I want the things I want – what’s my compelling reason why?

4. Understand & let go of comparison
   1. What parts of my life am I comparing to others?
   2. Why does someone else’s life limit my ability to be happy with what I have?

When you close the gap between expectation and reality – you’re left solely with what is.  You’ll live in the freedom to live on your terms without all the fear and the pressure. You’ll get out of the cycle of achieving and proving your worth through trying to control all the things that happen outside of you. Think of how much more energy you will have to devote to doing only the things that light you up.  This is one of the most important things I teach the woman I work with.

It’s so damn freeing and will release you from the endless set of rules society has taught you to live by.  Interested in taking this process deeper?  Schedule your consultation here and I’ll walk you through the exact work we’d do together.

PS – Check out what my client Jennifer shares regarding her coaching journey:

Prior to coaching, I could identify tasks I needed/desired to accomplish but got hung up on simple barriers. I was paralyzed by fear and my negative self-talk convinced me I was an incapable human. During our sessions, it was obvious that Nikki spends a lot of time researching and learning why all humans do this and how it affects brain function. Her explanations and techniques to combat these traits didn't just help me while coaching but provided an implementable framework for me to continue building my self confidence and identify/implement what I want in my life. This allowed me to develop and stick to a financial plan, plan and make healthy meals with food I like, get outside and recreate without feeling guilt.