How to Move Towards Acceptance

With acceptance comes so much peace.  But I believe there is an in-between phase in getting to total acceptance with things.  There is a phase where you are moving towards it but not there yet.  In this phase is where the deepest opportunity for growth and rebirth lies.

We live in a society that hates endings.  We hold onto everything for dear life.  We struggle to let go of simple things. 

We think we can control everything so we kick, scream, and fight until we get our way.  We blame ourselves and we blame the things around us for the pain we are going through.  We close our hearts down and put up protective walls so that nobody can hurt us.  We work harder, believing the answer lies in pushing through our pain.

The problem is when we put those walls up – we miss a beautiful opportunity for growth.  We miss the wisdom of transitions and everything that we can learn from them.  We miss the opportunity to come back to ourselves.  To feel all of the emotions that are coming up and hold ourselves with love and compassion, building deep trust, connection, and confidence without ourselves.

Whether it’s a job, a relationship (romantic or friendship), moving, a death…

We always have a choice to keep our hearts open. 

Society conditions us to shut down.  To protect ourselves at all costs.

The first step in transition is to notice this.  Notice the programming your brain has when you are going through a transition of anything.

Some of my common thoughts are:

-this is horrible, this is the worst thing that is happening

-I will not let this happen

-I am not worthy, I need to push harder

-I need to get over this faster

-I won’t survive this unless I just jump through it right now

-I can’t sit in this I need to fix it immediately

And yes, this is easier.  It feels better…in the moment.  But it doesn’t allow us to complete a transformation.  It doesn’t allow us to move the emotions through our body in a healthy way.  It keeps us locked down and closed for future joy to come into our lives.

So you want another alternative?  Start asking yourself these questions as you move through things:

-what am I learning here?

-what wisdom is on my sadness?

-how can I keep my heart open?

-what am I grateful for in this moment?

-how can I carry these lessons into the possibility of the future?

-how can I see the best in all of the possible outcomes?

The first step is to notice when your animal brain kicks in.  When it wants to kick and scream like a toddler.  Calm it down.  Tell it that it’s okay.

Sit with your emotions.

Remember you don’t have to believe everything your panicked brain tells you.  There are just thoughts.

 Here are the three steps to move towards acceptance.

1. Deep Belly Breaths – 5 – 5 – 10
2. What is here? Do not judge it.  Judging creates shame and it feels like a shriveled raisin.  Notice your emotions and the thoughts your brain is telling you.  SLOW DOWN.
3. Remind yourself you are moving towards acceptance.  How can you come back to the acceptance questions and start to remind yourself of your answers? 

Practice this over and over until you find yourself moving to acceptance.

Trust that all the answers will become clearer with time when you slow down to take this time for reflection.

Sending you all the love and compassion in your transition.