The Secret to Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

You have everything you want.  To everyone else looking in it seems like you have it all.  But there’s more going on beneath the surface.

You show up to your life everyday but it is a struggle.  You feel overwhelmed, like you’re on a train you can never get off.  It feels like there is no “escape” and you have a hard time connecting with a future where you feel better.

So you keep pushing yourself through the days, you keep striving, hoping that at some point you will feel better.

The problem is – you won’t feel better until you address the underlying stories that are keep you stuck.  They are keeping you small, and they are keeping your fullest expression locked inside?

It’s not your fault.  You are dealing with imposter syndrome – something that almost every woman (and men too) struggle with at some point.  Societally, we are taught to never show our vulnerabilities or our weaknesses – so we do whatever we can to ignore that void we feel.

We drink, we eat, we distract … we tell ourselves we are busy all of the time.  We never slow down enough or let ourselves FEEL what is going on underneath.

And that’s exactly what the solution calls for.  If you want to start feeling amazing in your own skin, feeling confident in who you are, and expressing that into the world, you have to start feeling all of your emotions.

I remember the moment a few years ago when I allowed myself to slow down enough and feel all of it come up and I finally realized – this isn’t my fault, but I don’t feel confident or comfortable in my own skin based on messaging I heard over and over.  But it's up to me to feel better - nobody can do this work for me.

I’d heard so much crap that had me feeling like I wanted to crawl up into a blanket and never come out. 

“loud women are bitches”

“I’d never hire a pregnant women, because then they have to take time off.”

“you don’t know how to manage male egos”

“I don’t know how to talk to you without hurting your feelings” 

When I think about these things I get so angry and frustrated.

I'd combat it in my head ... saying: 

You don’t know how to talk to me because how you communicate with the male staff is through aggressive ego control… and it’s toxic.

Loud woman aren’t bitches.  If they have respect, then they are just using their voice.

How would your wife feel about you saying that you’d never hire a pregnant women?

The reason I don’t know how to manage male egos is because I am not willing to tolerate a culture that reinforces bad behavior.  And when you stand for that male egos are forced to change or leave.

The trauma that we experience as women is not just present based, but based on a lot of research we carry intergenerational trauma of our past – our mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers.  So many generation of hurt women passing down their triggers to their offspring.

And this impacts men too, in the pressure they feel in how they NEED to show up.  But we won’t get into this issue for today.

Here are two questions you can start asking yourself if you want to start doing the work to overcome imposter syndrome and FEEL AMAZING in your own skin. 

THE SOLUTION YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS ALL ABOUT FEELING.

 Ask yourself:

1. What am I tolerating or staying silent about the is making me feel bad?
2. What am I avoiding that I need to process?

 Start to journal on these 2 questions and see what comes up for you.

You may not feel like you’re ready to “speak up” … but just acknowledging small microagressions or things that are impacting you in your environment can be so important.  We need to compassionately create awareness of these things otherwise we just internalize it all.

When we bring things to the surface and hold space for our feelings and emotions, then we can move through it. 

I've also created a great meditation you can use whenever things come up for you.

Download it here. 

The world needs your amazing beautiful voice to be expressed into the world.  Sending you so much love.